E L James’ erotic, edgy, steamy Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy is one of the best selling series of all time and has stirred up the libidos of woman all around the world. A friend and I got laughing about the comparison between the books and having a Toddler.
First, as a parent you play the role of the dominant and your toddler is the submissive (obviously just an analogy!) You want to do everything you can so your kid isn’t 50 Shades of Spoiled (and as f-ed up like the star of the book, Christian Grey, in any way/shape/form). Helping to mold your toddler by teaching “the rules”, enforcing “your contract“, being patient, understanding, and being consistent is vital. {Below my daughter giving me the same look I had if I was interrupted while reading the series} .
Secondly, the things you say as a parent (or utter under your breath) and the rules you enforce in a sense correlate to the book. Please be advised Dept. of Child Services, I swear I do not beat my child; nor say most of these things to my child (I plead the fifth for the little voices in my head).
I started to keep a running list of what Christian Grey said in the book (some are direct quotes) that a parent could say to a toddler:
- Take that out of your mouth.
- Put your pants back on.
- Eat everything on your plate…or else.
- Do you want to go to your playroom?
- Do you need to go in time out?
- No hitting.
- No biting.
- No pinching
- Stop that or I’ll spank you.
- Don’t roll your eyes at me.
- Don’t lick that.
- Don’t touch yourself down there.
- Follow my directions…or else.
- “I do believe you’re making my palm twitch.”
- “I lay awake for hours and watched you sleep.”
- “I don’t know whether to worship at your feet or spank the living sh*t out of you!”
- “We aim to please in this house.”
For those of you who somehow dodged the hype, Shades of Grey has been described as “mommy porn”. It is predicted in nine months or so we will see the results directly impact delivery rooms worldwide. All because of a tall, dark, and handsome yet controlling, sadomasochistic 27 year old, Christian Grey. (Rumor has it Magic Mike has a little something something to do with it too…I have yet to be able to share my thoughts on how hunky Channing Tatum and Matthew McConaughey are in the flic).
Night after night women climb into bed with the broken, yet faithful Grey and his personal struggles to love and be loved with subservient, Anastasia Steele. Day after day they find a way to sneak in just ONE more chapter, somewhere…somehow. I started the books while I was alone on a flight home and found myself curled up in window seat reading it-almost embarrassed. This is coming from one of the most open, non-prudish, person you will probably ever meet. Throughout the day in the airport I noticed I was not the only one. Everywhere I looked woman of all ages had the black/gray book open with the same look of shock, awe, and curiosity I had. The love story captivated me and got me through the books because I’m sorry, I couldn’t take reading about someone having THAT much sex…It got to the point where at times I was just skimming. A few times, I will confess Christian Grey could have been my husband! Sure, it isn’t the world’s best written book; however, it will consume your thoughts, make you sleep deprived, and get you rearing to go in the bedroom. Next thing you know everywhere you are, gals are gathered together, discussing this MUST READ book.
Questions for the CGTCM peanut gallery-Please comment!
Who do you want to be casted as Christian Grey and/or Anastasia Steel in the upcoming film version of Fifty Shades of Grey?
Who is the dominant parent in your family? (Not in the bedroom people, please spare me those details!!)
For sure I have to say I am the dominant one enforcing the rules in our family, Daddy is a pushover…but what can I say she IS “Daddy’s Little Girl”.
What do you find yourself saying to your little one that reminds you of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele?
Well, that is all from me…Laters Baby!
Be sure to check out this Saturday Night Live-Fifty Shades of Grey Video below if you have not seen it!
