I wake up in the middle of the night a lot…Most of the times it is because my glorious beauty sleep is interrupted by a creature that cries from the other room, or gracefully enters our bed. Tonight she fussed for a bit, waking me (while my hubby slept soundly…not sure how he does it) and then she fell back asleep. Other times I am awake in the middle of the night is due to my lovely friend, Insomnia. Unfortunately for me (and my unconscious partner for life) my brain did not follow suit with our daughter’s and I am wide awake at 3:33am.
Make a wish…I am one of those stupid people who makes a wish when the clock is the same numbers…
My wish is that my husband doesn’t divorce me…
Why, you ask?
Well…I have to blame the Triscuits.
When I wake up in the middle of the night, my typical routine is this:
Step 1: Roll over-go back to sleep. (This is a rare occurrence).
Step 2: Check social media on my phone for anything fun, exciting, or juicy going on in the world. Check in with some of my favorite Tweeps across the world in Australia who are just starting their day!
Step 4: Get a glass of water, return to Step 1.
Step 5: Turn on TV-News always seems to put me to sleep, or anything at 3am for that matter.
Step 6: Turn to food…If I am the slightest bit hungry in my mind, that is the reason I am awake. This mindset maybe the reason why I gained 52lbs with my lovebug…since everytime I got up to pee, I grabbed “a little snack“.
Today I made it to Step 6 and a VERY annoyed husband.
The man can sleep through mostly anything-like I have said plenty of times before. In fact, I often wonder if the fire alarm was going off he would even hear it. I’ve had the monitor turned up and forgot to turn off when she was having a screaming fit to return to him in the same position cuddled up not affected at all.
I opened up the new box of Triscuits that were calling my name from the pantry in the bathroom. I knew it was going to be tough to rip open that fine plastic packaging. Our daughter has hyper-sensitive hearing…I swear she will wake up to ANY sound in the middle of the night unlike Big Daddy. I’m not sure why she is like that since I used to vacuum with her sleeping in her swing. Since she was about to sleep through the night in her bed for the first time in weeks I figured it was best head to our bathroom. Our 3 bedroom 1400 sq.ft. house doesn’t have an area for me to escape to so I figure the bathroom with fan on would be my best bet.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED-bag open, peperjack cheese prepared…I retreat to the bed.
Yes, we are the people who snack in bed…don’t judge. As I sit there, mouth-watering, Triscuits prepared, I start to indulge in my snack. I instantly know this could get ugly. Have you ever tried to chew silently? Actually-have you ever tried to do anything being really quiet? I’m not the quiet kind-anytime I try to be really, really quiet I swear it’s like I have a microphone attached to every step, I drop something, have a coughing fit, or sneeze/fart/tinkle at the same time causing me to have major giggles.
I had tuned into some Saving Sarah Marshall and I’m excited to have my snack and hit the hay. After the 3rd cracker the beast next to me (my husband) rolls over and growls at me.
“Are you serious right now?”
“What the HELL are you doing? I need to wake up in an hour for work.“
(FYI he had to work early today, he isn’t always up this early and I forgot).
I mumble I’m starving and can’t sleep as he growls once again and back to sleep he goes.
I decided it was best for our marriage to finish my snack in the dark on the couch in the family room.
The day before we celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary, I need to give a shout out to my main man-thanks for putting up with me. I love you….and next time I promise to go for a quieter snack-like ice cream or a bowl of cereal!