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Maybe Triscuits weren’t the BEST idea?

I wake up in the middle of the night a lot…Most of the times it is because my glorious beauty sleep is interrupted by a creature that cries from the other room, or gracefully enters our bed. Tonight she fussed for a bit, waking me (while my hubby slept soundly…not sure how he does it) and then she fell back asleep.  Other times I am awake in the middle of the night is due to my lovely friend, Insomnia. Unfortunately for me (and my unconscious partner for life) my brain did not follow suit with our daughter’s and I am wide awake at 3:33am.

Make a wish…I am one of those stupid people who makes a wish when the clock is the same numbers…

My wish is that my husband doesn’t divorce me…

Why, you ask?

Well…I have to blame the Triscuits.

When I wake up in the middle of the night, my typical routine is this:

Step 1: Roll over-go back to sleep. (This is a rare occurrence).

Step 2:  Check social media on my phone for anything fun, exciting, or juicy going on in the world.  Check in with some of my favorite Tweeps across the world in Australia who are just starting their day!

Step 3:  After perusing Facebook and Twitter for awhile, shut eyes and return to Step 1-attempting to fall asleep. Consider cuddling up with my man and pray the cat doesn’t get jealous.

Step 4: Get a glass of water, return to Step 1.

Step 5:  Turn on TV-News always seems to put me to sleep, or anything at 3am for that matter.

Step 6: Turn to food…If I am the slightest bit hungry in my mind, that is the reason I am awake.  This mindset maybe the reason why I gained 52lbs with my lovebug…since everytime I got up to pee, I grabbed “a little snack“.

Today I made it to Step 6 and a VERY annoyed husband. 

The man can sleep through mostly anything-like I have said plenty of times before.  In fact, I often wonder if the fire alarm was going off he would even hear it.  I’ve had the monitor turned up and forgot to turn off when she was having a screaming fit to return to him in the same position cuddled up not affected at all.

I opened up the new box of Triscuits that were calling my name from the pantry in the bathroom.  I knew it was going to be tough to rip open that fine plastic packaging.  Our daughter has hyper-sensitive hearing…I swear she will wake up to ANY sound in the middle of the night unlike Big Daddy.  I’m not sure why she is like that since I used to vacuum with her sleeping in her swing. Since she was about to sleep through the night in her bed for the first time in weeks I figured it was best head to our bathroom.  Our 3 bedroom 1400 sq.ft. house doesn’t have an area for me to escape to so I figure the bathroom with fan on would be my best bet.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED-bag open, peperjack cheese prepared…I retreat to the bed.

Yes, we are the people who snack in bed…don’t judge.  As I sit there, mouth-watering, Triscuits prepared, I start to indulge in my snack.  I instantly know this could get ugly.  Have you ever tried to chew silently?  Actually-have you ever tried to do anything being really quiet?  I’m not the quiet kind-anytime I try to be really, really quiet I swear it’s like I have a microphone attached to every step, I drop something, have a coughing fit, or sneeze/fart/tinkle at the same time causing me to have major giggles.

I had tuned into some Saving Sarah Marshall and I’m excited to have my snack and hit the hay.  After the 3rd cracker the beast next to me (my husband) rolls over and growls at me.

“Are you serious right now?” 

“What the HELL are you doing? I need to wake up in an hour for work.

(FYI he had to work early today, he isn’t always up this early and I forgot).

I mumble I’m starving and can’t sleep as he growls once again and back to sleep he goes.

I decided it was best for our marriage to finish my snack in the dark on the couch in the family room.

The day before we celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary, I need to give a shout out to my main man-thanks for putting up with me.  I love you….and next time I promise to go for a quieter snack-like ice cream or a bowl of cereal!

  1. gail Reply
    just wanted you to know that cereal can be noisy too. try pudding or keep small baggies of a bitesize cookie ready with only a twist tie, that don't require too much chewing. or else buy him some earplugs. a mom has to eat! hubbly deal with it, she deals with your shit,too!
    • Marissa Reply
      Oh pudding sound pretty good! I'm trying to learn to eat more quietly...I like to eat in the middle of the night. (Not too sure who I get that from!) hehe
  2. dadblunders Reply
    Marissa, I think next time you have the snack ready for him to enjoy with you! Heck there ain't nothing better then when my wife has a snack ready for me to enjoy at 3 A.M. in the morning! Alright I admit I think she is a little crazy but it can be a good thing too....just saying from a dad here you have to look at all the angles.... ;) I wanted you to know that i enjoy your blog and I think it's fitting since this is a post on eating to nominate you for the Super Sweet Blogging Award! Aaron
    • Marissa Reply
      I swear I'm going to work on this week! Sorry Aaron-with Wes being away, a sick house, and his grandma just passed away I have been distracted and totally not in the mood to blog. Hope all is well-keep up the good work! I love that you enjoy the snacks-Wes is more of a sleep vs snack kind of guy so he doesn't like me partaking in crunchy snacks at 3am!
  3. Happy Little Feet Reply
    I don’t know if you’re familiar with the Liebster Blog Award, but it’s a great way for bloggers to recognize and encourage each other. It’s a compliment, blogger style. I recently received the award and, because I follow and enjoy your writing, am bestowing it on you. Read my post here then write you own and link back to me. I hope you’ll enjoy paying it forward as much as I have. Happy blogging. You crack me up. Eating in bed in the dark! I get so annoyed when my hubby is asleep and I am not.
    • Marissa Reply
      Oh no! I just saw this-gosh what is WRONG with me! THANK YOU THANK YOU LOVE! I will get it done soon, I promise. I greatly appreciate the nomination! You're the best!!!
  4. Christina Reply
    omg, you are hilarious!! i think I can relate to everything you said!
    • Marissa Reply
      Thanks Christina-so sorry about the late response, been busy! Yup, I totally have issues! LOL Hope all is well!
  5. Roshni Reply
    Try brownies next time!! Of course, you may put on 10 pounds, like I did, but at least you won't have any crackling sounds to contend with!! :P
    • Marissa Reply
      Oh brownies are an EXCELLENT idea! Or even better...a brownie sundae! Thanks so much for reading!
  6. Laura @ Stroller Parking Only Reply
    LOL. LOL. LOL. I loooove this post. Love how you keep triscuits in the bathroom. Love that you eat them in bed in the middle of the night. This is so the kind of scenario I can picture happening between me and my husband. Except for me, it would be peanut butter and rice cakes. Maybe I should start storing some in the bathroom. You are full of great ideas...and triscuits...
    • Marissa Reply
      I know... I have serious issues! I mean I could even hear the chewing and thought, oh dear this is pretty loud. I have been awoken by him eating Tostitoes in the middle of the night so it was payback! :) Have a great day, thanks for reading!
  7. Sue Diamond-Phillips Reply
    HILARIOUS!!! My husband sleeps through everything, which is always ironic when his job is crazy law enforcement scary stuff. I go to bed every night totally confident that someone could plow into our home with a monster truck, and chaninsaw us all to death, and he would snore away.
    • Marissa Reply
      HAAAA! That's funny-he wasn't a happy camper this morning...oopsie! I think men can just tune out what we say and loud crying but hear what they want!! Thanks for your comment!
  8. Dani Reply
    Happy Anniversary! I say as a gift you put a big bow on a new box of truancy it's for the hubby lol. Love you xoxo PS: we eat in bed all the time too ;)
    • Marissa Reply
      Like I said I can't believe my OCD friend eats in bed! LOL! Oh, I have a big boy somewhere I'm sure...LOVES!
  9. Tina Atkinson Reply
    I LOVE THIS!!!! This was the best reading with morning coffee ... of course, Wes might not appreciate the humor, but I certainly did. Next time you can't sleep, sweetie, send me an FB message. It's not unusual for this menopausal woman to also be awake at all hours of the night. I just might save your marriage ... or at least, Wes will thank me for his good night's sleep. Think I'll eat a Triscuit today in your honor. Love you!!! TeeTee
    • Marissa Reply
      Ok Miss Menopausal-I will for sure shoot you a message. Glad I could bring a smile to your face. If you do eat a Triscuit, be sure to note just how loud it is when you eat it. LOVE YOU!! XOX

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