Wide awake…can’t sleep…so why not let you in on some of my deepest, darkest, secrets and what goes on in my crazy head at 2am?
Confession #1: The past month or so we started a really bad habit-we have allowed a small visitor in our bed, and it’s not Rhodie our cat! It began right before vacation when Lovebug had Hand Foot and Mouth Disease. This became a continuing trend while on vacation-she was out of her element and waking up a few times a night. I’d jump up to grab her so she wouldn’t wake up the entire house. It all got worse when we returned from Rhode Island and were veryyyyy tired. When she would wake up at 2am hyperventilating, screaming, and trying to jump ship out of the crib…in bed the little shit came with us, with a smile on her face. She had us by the balls. This is normally a HUGE no-no for us. Not just because we want to create good sleeping habits, but we love our adult alone time…if you know what I mean J and everyone sleeps SO much better this way.
Confession #2: I feel like a bad mom because my daughter just isn’t that kid that needs a nap at 1pm, or we can just simply lay down in her crib at 8pm awake and she will just fall asleep. I try to keep her on a schedule; however, if we are around people she needs to be a socialite and not miss a beat. This gives me major anxiety! Is this my fault, or did I create this beast? I know she wants to sleep and needs it, but she fights it…and fights it. You know what they say folks…Payback is a bitch…and I was one hyper child that never slept, it has been rumored by my family members she is worse than me! (which they didn’t believe was possible!) But in honestly, many times, I question my parenting skills.
Confession #3: I slept in bed with my parents until I hit puberty. No, really it was probably pretty close to that age. My dad worked nights so it was comforting for both my mom and I to cuddle in bed. Unfortunately for her, I was a night owl too and in kindergarten would watch Johnny Carson with her night after night. I found every excuse not to sleep in my bed, and didn’t until I was good and ready.
Confession #4: I was scared we were too late and we were doomed that she was going to be in our bed forever. Deep down I knew we were creating a MONSTER Mini Me and I hit rock bottom-I needed a good sleep in my bed alone with my hubby. We were all exhausted actually, even her. That is when I made the decision we needed to do some sort of sleep training over the weekend and get back on track. Guess what!?! It actually worked and wasn’t too painful for any of us (my husband really can’t deal with her crying). We just let her fuss longer than normal for a few nights. Back to sleep she went and we awoke up more rested than we had in months. Yesterday, kid you not, she slept 14 hours straight…in her OWN bed! No nap today, but oh well, I’ll take that.
I sit here at 1:15am wide awake….yearning for her to wake up so we could cuddle for a bit. Am I crazy, yes? Probably lost my mind…my ass should be asleep right now I have to get up in 5 hours. I just went into look at my baby girl again all curled up in a ball with her lovey and blanket (I swear I had to refill my drink) and took a mental snapshot. Then, it hit me… In the blink of an eye she’s no longer my wittle baby I had hundreds of these snapshots of moments to never forget…she’s almost a year and a half. Gosh, I miss those nights when she was so tiny, would actually let me hold her, and just smile and stare at me. I didn’t mind the night feedings, even if I only had 3 hours of sleep before I headed to work, it was the coolest feeling in the world being her mom. OK, here it is folks last confession…I’m starting to get the itch for another baby…not going to lie.
Sweet Dreams to all of you in La-La Land. Oh and I would like to wish a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one of my bestest Friends Jaclyn-even though I know she won’t read this! Have a great day, love and miss you tons!