default logo

How the “F” does the Duggar family do it?

I have so much respect for people who have 4 + kids!  I guess I have to rephrase that and say those who have more than one child.  We watched our cousin’s 3 kids, 4 dogs & 3 cats plus our darling daughter while they worked.  Not really sure how they do it day in and day out, and keep their sanity.  I’m so impressed and idolize them-they are both successful, have stressful full time jobs, and are fabulous parents to wonderful children.  Their kids are all VERY well behaved and we had a blast with them.  It is so much fun to see the kids all play together; especially because it’s rare we get quality alone time together.

This weekend got us thinking.  My husband and I wonder if we can handle more than one child.  I know kid #2 is supposedly easier; however, what if we have another “spirited” child just like its mama and sister?  We have a healthy, beautiful daughter…why press our luck? Lately, the discussion of “how many kids do we really want?” has been brought to the table quite a few times.

I suffer from OCS (Only Child Syndrome) and although I was spoiled, I don’t think I was THAT spoiled.  Most people tell me that they didn’t know I was an “only” and I take that as a compliment.  I hated being an only child, wanted a brother or sister more than you can imagine, and swore up and down that I would not just have ONE kid.  My main man has a older brother who is 3 years older than him, was very close to, and has wonderful memories with.  That brings us to our next thought, what is the best difference in age to have your kids?  I mean lets be real people, I am not getting any younger!

It’s not even the lack of sleep that worries us.  Kids are expensive, and that is one reason we debate having more than one.  We would like to give our kid(s) whatever they need, have the opportunity to try any activity they have an interest in, and show them what the world has to offer-without being in debt up to our neck.  Unfortunately, as my parents always said, money doesn’t grow on trees.  {GOSH I HATE THAT SAYING}.  So, is another child do-able with our income and budget?  I know people do it on even less than what we have with more kids.  Three months ago my husband decided we needed to go on a very strict budget, (another post for another day) cutting things like cable and other unnecessary expenses, to be more practical with our spending choices.  We were spending way too much on things that don’t matter, such as groceries and eating out.  I couldn’t even imagine another mouth to feed if it’s like its sister and dad; we would be in a world of hurt for our food budget!  I mean don’t get me wrong, we “get around” and do plenty of things; however, we don’t want to stop living completely.  I can’t remember the last time I went shopping for something for me, had a massage, or bought a purse-now anything we buy is for our doll baby.

I loved being preggers…maybe I’ll just become a surrogate to inflate these flap jacks and get some extra cash in the bank so we can afford to procreate again?  I seriously would, but my husband isn’t too fond of the idea.

A few happenings/thoughts/reflections from the holiday weekend:

  • I changed my first boy diaper, and it went pretty good, and I didn’t get peed on.
  • Oh how I wish we had a playroom…
  • Juggling 4 kids DID get easier!
  • Swimming in a river isn’t THAT bad at all, especially when it is 103 degrees out, you are with fabulous people, and adult beverages are present.  Sorry but even though there are clams in the sand, I just can’t refer to the area with sand as a “beach”.
  • “Crop dusting” actually isn’t when you fart as you walk by a group of people and exit the scene, leaving people to ponder about whom actually did it.   It is when a small plane sprays crops with fertilizer/pesticides-and I got to witness it on the ride home!
  • I am petrified of Laney around stairs; we have a one story home.  She doesn’t hold back and if she fell down I would feel awful!   I feel like a helicopter mom, stalking her as she approached even just 3 stairs.  I used to work in higher education and I PROMISED myself I would never act like those parents did during orientation.  I need to work on this…
  • Why is it when you are a kid you fight naps left and right, but as an adult you would do anything for a daily nap?  I would give my right flap jack for daily recess and nap time!
  • I’m having major Revenge withdrawals and I am so thankful we have Hulu.  Remember the days when the internet didn’t provide television, DVR didn’t exist and/or seasons weren’t on VHS tape & DVD’s?  Oh, and you had to get up to actually change the channel?


  1. Heather Reply
    Ok you knew I was going to weigh in on this a stay at home mom of 4 kids ...I know first hand it can be done !! We like to vacation just as much as you guys do. We go away at least for one full week and I would say on an average year 3-4 weekend get aways !! We enjoy life ! But if I never got to go on another vacation it would still be all worth it to me to have the 4 of them!! They are like having a built in amusement park :-) No seriously I can't imagine them NOT having each other at this point. Sure they might have a bigger wardrobe or the latest gadget ( but this stuff is seriously overrated and in my opinion stunting their creativity any how) On the 4th of July we went to a little theme park type of place in NH ...of course it cost a half a weeks pay to bring 6 people in a place like that...and me being a tight wad usually gets all bent about spending all that money in one day. But as soon as we got into the park the four of them started off to enjoy their time....pairing off thrill seekers together and carousel riders...2 and 2 and my sweetie and I hand in hand warming benches all day and chatting away. You see I have begun to realize you have the first baby for YOU to create a family, to fulfill that have baby 2,3,4.....8 for a whole different reason. I want to be around to see my kids marry, have kids etc etc....but if God had another plan I know that I am just one member of this team we call a family. Don't get me wrong I don't want to be replaced....but I know that someone will "cover " for me. I love seeing them become friends..develop bonds that will carry them through a life time....that my dear you can't put a price tag on. You some how pinch pennies to give you kids what they need ( don't get too caught up in what they want, it changes all the time anyways) God provides ..... you start becoming very creative with ways to save also realize how much you waste. Don't let money stop you from having another baby....some of the greatest people I've studied with the kids came from large families...most didn't have a lot of money....but what the gained from their siblings and parents who valued a solid family ended up being far more valuable :-)
    • Marissa Reply
      I agree totally with you Heather and appreciate your honest and loving response! My hubby's parents are from two large families and it is amazing to see how they all work together. They have a bond that you can not describe, and when something bad happens they are the best support team out there. Being an "only" I worry about the day something happens to my parents and it is really just me to deal with it all. Thank you so much for your feedback, I hope you enjoy the blog and can't wait for you to come train my kids to behave as good as yours or for you to provide us with some parenting tips!.

Let Me Know What You Think...